By choice not by chance

February 9, 2012, Thursday (By choice not by chance)

Fear and sorrow have left and ANGER and RAGE have set in.  I am so pissed and I am furious that I am “not good enough” to go home.  I hate the way this process works and the way it treats us making us feel subhuman.  I hate that I was not born where I made a home and I hate that my husband has to suffer and pay for choices that were made 23 years ago.  Why don’t I deserve happiness?  Why don’t I deserve a family?  Why don’t I deserve a home? Why don’t I deserve the right to be free and to pursue my happiness?   I am sorry I wasn’t born in the U.S. I am sorry I made a home there but I am not sorry that my parents made the choices they did because they only did what they thought was best for their family.  I am sorry I didn’t choose where I was born but I am not sorry about where I choose to make a home and I am most definitely NOT sorry that I fell in love with my husband and that we were born in two different countries.  By chance I was born in Mexico and by choice I live(d) in the U.S.  I made a conscious choice everyday to do the right thing and be an active participant in the community I live(d) in and still I can not be a member of that community.  I am angry that some bureaucrat behind a desk somewhere has the right to make, break and tear families apart.