Some friends have two faces

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Some people have two faces.  I’ve always known this but I wish I wasn’t reminded of this right now.  When you get married it is sometimes difficult to completely blend two different lives together.  It won’t always be pretty but its often fun; sometimes you have difficulty blending schedules, family or friends.  In our case we did the best to do all of it and for the most part it all seemed to work out but there are always things that dot work out the way you want it to no matter how hard you try.  Friends are one of those things that as a single person you have for various reasons but when you get married they don’t always see eye to eye with your married self.  Because of my situation I have always been very careful at choosing my friends and all of my friends have been very understanding and caring.  It never crossed my mind that when I got married some of his friends would have a problem with who I am.  Everything seemed to be fine until recently when my husband I saw some questionable and I believe racist comments on some “friends” facebook pages.  No one I know wants to consider themselves racist but no one admits that unconsciously and sometimes consciously there are things that happen in our lives that help us think in certain ways.  For those two friends it was a forward on facebook a half joke entirely racist forward.  It said something like when you cross illegally in Korea you get 12 years in prison but when you cross illegally into the U.S. you get a job, a license and welfare.  The comments hurt my husband and me so much that we decided to remove those two people from our friends list and if they asked we would let them know why their comments were uncalled for, racist and hurtful.  It was them who were offended that I posted a comment that said that because of their racist comments we could no longer be friends even on facebook.  They emailed my husband and called to both apologize and let him know that they were hurt that I called them “racist” on facebook.  Mind you, I never once used their names or singled them out individually but they knew who they were and more than anything it hurt that two people we know still feel that way about a group of people.  Unless you are Native you are an immigrant to the U.S. and have no right to single out or blame anyone for wanting a better life.  Why did looking for a better life for you and your love ones become a crime?  When did we let our obsession for greed and wealth overcome our basic need for survival?  I used to be called a hum, now I am a criminal who needs to be hunted down in the borders of Arizona.  There are too many things that are happening to me and to many real things going on in the world to have to put up with two racist who used to call themselves our “friends”.  I call you “gone”, wish you the best and hope that someday no one is pointing the finger at you because the world is a lonely place when you spent your life blaming others and they won’t be there to defend you.