Who´s taking care of who?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Early in the morning Grandma let me know that she needed to go to a doctors appointment in Zacatecas.  Like most of the women in my family she is strong and stubborn, usually this is a trip that she takes alone but today I think in part for fear of the rain she said if I wanted to come I could.  I quickly rose to my feet and changed for fear that she would change her mind.  While I have stayed here I have noticed how sad life is for my grandparents and perhaps maybe most older people their age.  After 16 children and countless grand and great children I find that my grandmother in Ojocaliente is one of the loneliest women I know.  She is wise and independent and although my grandfather is still alive she would rather bury her head in shame before she asked a man for anything.  I notice how my aunts and uncles including my own father can go weeks without calling her and just asking how she is.  I lower my head in shame for not being a better grandchild.  Every morning she wakes up at 5:30 am (6 at the very latest) and begins her routine chores of sweeping and mopping every room in the house.  On Monday’s she does laundry (by hand) and on Tuesday she shops for groceries.  She is a small and frail woman who otherwise would be sitting in a chair rocking her tiered 76 year old body.  Grandma suffers from countless ailments that you would neither think nor believe.  Mainly it is hear weak heart that has everyone worried although not worried enough to stop giving her grief. 

We walk quickly to the bus and make our way into the big city.  I am happy, excited and scared to take this trip with grandma mainly because I so rarely get to just spend time with her.  She’s always coming or going, cleaning or cooking something somewhere.  Even when we are alone in the house I can go hours without seeing her.  The part that is scared is afraid that she would slip and fall while under my watch, or that something would happen to her and I would not know what to do to help her.  I gather my strength and hope that everything will go well today.  We sit and talk on the bus, about the people getting on, the weather and the city.  She hates traffic and at her age would really rather not have to deal with people, if it were up to her she would be perfectly content staying home and never seeing another soul.  A taxi takes us from the bus terminal to the doctor’s office where we wait for her to be seen.  There was rain in the city right before we arrived and the hospital is quickly trying to run on its generators.  It is dark when we get there and soon enough the elevators and the offices are filled with electricity.  I say a little prayer hoping we make it home before the rain catches up to us.  I might have a heart attack if I have to walk with grandma in the rain, she might fall or worst get wet and sick.  As quickly as we arrive she is dismissed.  It took us longer to get here and wait than what the doctor took to see her.  Grandma explains that she is upset they switched her doctor and she will surely be calling someone to let them know how upset she was.  I smile at her spunk and glad that I have some of her in me.  I ask her what the doctor said and she is quick to remind me that “it’s none of my business”.  I tell her I love her and that I want to make sure she’s ok and that it is my business but “children shouldn’t get involved in grown folks business”.  It’s the first time I actually feel like a kid at 31.  We go downstairs to the pharmacy were they fill her grocery bag with medications.  I am worried that they are over medicating her but she says that at her age, it is the medicine that is the glue holding her body together.  We’re back in a cab and on our way to the bus station to catch the next bus back to Ojocaliente.  Back on the bus hopeful that we can make it home before the storm, I can see the storm clouds chasing as the bus moves forward and I pray that the bus makes it there quickly.  Off the bus and quickly home, we aren’t home but 5 minutes before the storm comes in with a vengeance.  Grandma calls me into her room and thanks me for accompanying her, she says she was worried that I wouldn’t get out of my pajamas if I hadn’t gone and that she wanted to take care of me while I am sad and away from my family.  Here I was worried about her and it was grandma who was taking care of me today.