Shots ring out

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Without a television or radio and a sick grandmother I rely on the trees, flowers and birds to help me pass the time.  Although grandma is still sick she insisted on checking in on her plants and on her “milpa” a tiny plot of land where she planted corn stalks.  We went out back, watered the corn stalks and sat to watch the birds fly.  As the end of the day approached we watched all the birds gather in one tree, slowly more and more of them gathered until the tree became dense with so many birds and so in unison they left that tree and moved to a bigger tree.  More birds gather in the smaller tree and repeat the pattern of the previous birds.  Finally we hear a shot and all the birds that were gathered fly quickly out of the trees and find comfort elsewhere.  Grandma and I sit for another minute until we hear one shot after another.  There must have been 10 or 15 shots in a minute or two before grams and I realized that we need to go back in the house.  The shots sounded like they were in the distance but close enough for us to hear the echoes left by them.  We are reminded that things here in this small town are not like they used to be.  Violence has shaken this small town and so many others and no one in this sleepy “pueblo” is safe.  With the sun still settling in front of us we retreat inside the house and begin to prepare our beds.  The shots were not heard much longer after that, followed by ambulances and police sirens.  Grandma is still weak from her sickness and she wants to go to bed at 8 pm, there is still light outside and she insists that I go to bed too. 

Luckily I have Sex and the City to save me.  One of my few precious belongings that I was able to bring on my journey was my Sex and the City collection.  Carey, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha all keep me sane when I am home sick.  I remember how I would beg my parents so they would add HBO during the months the series was on.  My girlfriends would gather at my house on Sundays and we would sit to watch the new episode and bring our own commentary to it and to each others lives.  I wish I could have those times back, simpler times when me being illegal didn’t matter.  I put my headphones on and loose myself to in the show.  Around midnight I am reminded that I am not home and I hear shots again only this time they are closer and an explosion.  I take off my headphones and turn my computer off.  I sit in the dark and listen to the madness outside and all I can do is pray again.  Pray that my eyes close and that when they open this will all have been a bad dream and I wake up in my husband’s arms and screaming kids pushing through the doors and jumping on the bed.