Today all I want to do is sleep I think the lack of it has finally caught up with me, but I wake up and get the day’s routine underway. Grandma is off to Zacatecas for another doctor’s visit yet again. She went to one yesterday and my aunt called and said the doctor needed her back today for more exams. I am totally worried but no one will tell me if she’s ok, I sense it’s something more than just food poising. Spirits wise she’s up and running again but a little slower than normal. No leaving the house for me today, I can’t bring myself to get dressed but late in the afternoon I stroll over to the bakery to pick up the bread for dinner. I think about my own father at home sick and my husband who is having some medical exams done of his own today. I feel that noose tightening again and it’s easier to just go back to sleep. Every time I talk to anyone from home or E, I feel like crying. I keep the conversations short with hopes that they can’t hear my voice cracking. “I am fine, don’t worry about me” is all I can bring myself to say. I can feel E stressing, between his job, the cars breaking down, his medical exams and bringing me home he has a lot on his plate and I can hear it in his voice. I stay strong for him, because any crack in my voice and he might loose it too and I couldn’t stand to hear him miss me. I know he does but its better left said over text. I am almost afraid to type this because I know he will read and worry. “Don’t worry honey I am fine, just a little bump in the road…I love you.”
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