My girlfriend suggested I start a blog or a diary of my journey through this immigration system in hopes that I have something else to think about besides “home”. I am not sure where I should start this but I guess the end works just as good.
I am “undocumented” by U.S. standards. I was born and raised for a short time in Zacatecas, Mexico. I was brought to the U.S. by my parents when I was 7 years old. Since, we have grown up and called San Bernardino, CA home. I am married to he most amazing man and we will with my entire family in my parents’ home. I’d like to think I am unique but I am not since there are almost over 1 million young people just like me in the U.S. (depending on who you talk to).
My parents have always emphasized the value of an education and even though I live illegally in the U.S. for over 23 years I have always made my education a priority (even when I can’t or don’t want to). I had the privilege of attending the great Redlands Unified School District. Although it didn’t always feel like a privilege it opened doors for me that I am not sure I would have otherwise. I was educated in some of the better schools in San Bernardino County and thanks to Redlands High School I was able to read, write and articulate my thoughts (more than what I can say for other San Bernardino County students/victims). My parents didn’t know that when they moved to the U.S. it was important to decide which school district their children would be a part of. They just picked somewhere they could work and raise a family. The rest was up to luck or fait which ever you believe in, or maybe neither. Maybe, I was always destined to be right where I am.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011 (8:27 a.m.)
Woke up early today, couldn’t sleep like the past three days. Had a weird dream about having a conversation with a priest about religion. If you know me you know how weird that is. So I woke up early and made myself comfortable in E’s “love sack” turned on the television and watched some local news. Lucky for me we just got a Google Sony TV and I can check my email while watching television, but who cares about email when you are jobless and feeling worthless. I have to check my email, every morning and first thing I do, even before brushing my teeth is I check my email, because I am waiting for my life to start. Daily I scan through my email looking for “it”…the answer to my life. Today is no different, I log on and I scan and I listen to the local drama. I almost miss it when my eyes do a double take and I see it “NVC”. I struggle with whether or not to open it first and I decide not to. Email from local retailers, non-profit organizations and finally I can’t stand it any more. I go back to the inbox (68) unread messages and only 1 of those matters. I open it, scan through it with fear and desperation and I see it, “July 14, 2011 at 7:15 a.m.” the date that will set in motion the beginning of my life. I call E but he doesn’t answer, he’s at work. I let out a sigh and begin to cry. Chubaka, my niece is near by and wants to know if I am ok. I hug her and tell her I love her, ask her if she’ll miss me when I go to Mexico and she replies “Mejico... I love Mejico papi”. Unfortunately in her young three years she has already gone through this twice with her mother and grandmother, but she makes me smile. I call E again and no answer, answer E answer. I call mom, no answer, where is everyone? I dial dad, finally an answer, I tell him I have a date and his reply is “shit…I have a doctors appointment”. We hang up and I start sending out the text to friends and family “I have a date to leave, July 14th”. Immediately the replies start flooding in “no, it’s too soon”, “yheay, so happy for you”, “this can’t be happening”, “are you ok?” Am I ok? I am not sure. I want to stay strong but I feel like falling apart. How does one deal with receiving something they have been waiting for, for the past 23 plus years? I post the news on my facebook page and messages and text keep flooding in. I have the best family and friends. Everyone has words of encouragement and it makes me feel better. E calls and I lose it. I am happy but oh so scared, I weep feeling all kinds of things. As always he has kind words…encouraging words…loving words.
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