E, Dad and I arrived in Juarez today. Sixteen long hours on the road through California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas all to arrive at what I am certain is hell. We get to Texas to cross the boarder over to Mexico only to be stopped by Border Patrol. Border Patrol takes all of our identifications and begins to ask me a series of questions,
BP: Where are you going?
Me: To the U.S. Consulate in Juarez Mexico to fix my papers
BP: Show me your paper work
Me: (I hand them the letter informing me that I have a July 14th appointment)
BP: How long have you been in the U.S.?
Me: A little over 23 years
BP: How old were you when you came to the U.S.?
Me: About 7 years old
BP: Where did you cross through?
Me: I don’t remember I was 7
BP: Is this your dad (looking at Dad’s identification and noticing that his last name matches my passport)
Me: Yes, and the guy next to him is my husband
BP: If that’s your dad how come you aren’t legal through him?
Me: Because he became a permanent resident in 2004 and by then I had aged out
BP: Why didn’t you apply sooner?
Me: I think if we could have we would have, it’s not like we waited by choice (BIG mistake, HUGE because now I just made the BP (female) officer irate)
BP: Calls over a male BP officer and he’s holding in his hands some computer that he is looking at and begins to whisper to the female officer. She starts to look inside the car and with an angry tone asks me “So what did you do in ’97?”
Me: What to do mean?
BP: You know what I mean, you committed a crime in ’97 what was it?
Me: I am sorry officer I have no idea what you’re talking about, on the contrary in ’97 I was 16/17 years old and I was a model high school student in Youth Court and Mock Trail.
BP: Doesn’t look like it from here, because our computer says you were arrested.
Me: Can you tell me what it says I did? I think I would have remembered if I was arrested
BP: Male officer looks down at computer and tell female officers “they’re clean” and they say we can go
Can I just add that at that moment time stopped and I thought for sure they would try to pin something on me and make an excuse to start a deportation process so they would never let me come back. I knew I was not a criminal and that I had nothing in “’97” but I figured they could do whatever they wanted with me at that point. I was illegal and in their eyes, I had no rights. Both my dad and Efrain were visibly shaken and I knew what was on their mind so I said what they were not afraid to ask. “I didn’t do anything and I have no idea what they’re talking about”. I think it was my dad who said to me in Spanish so Efrain wouldn’t understand “if you have something to tell me before we cross the border, now would be a good time”. “No dad, I think they just said that to scare us in case we did have something, because if I or any of us had anything there’s no way they would have let us go.”
After I wet myself from the fear it was then time to get lost in the ugliest city in the world. I think dad was still a little shaken because he took a wrong turn somewhere and off we go into the abyss. We were lost for nearly an hour and every street we turned into was uglier than the next. Juarez is one of those places where the ugliness is all around you. The divide between the haves and the have-nots is obvious and the place reeks of fear and desperation. The entire place is founded on the misery of others, be it their own citizens or those passing through on their way to what they hope will be a better life. After hours of being lost we were worried that I would not make it to the medical appointment.
Part of the process of immigrating legally involves a medical exam to insure that you are “super human”. My appointment letter said there were only two options of where I could have my medical exam done and part of that exam included having a list of over 13 vaccinations, and everything had a price tag. Cost of medical exam including x-rays and blood work $185 US dollars, 13 vaccinations ranging from $40 to $192 depending on which vaccinations you needed you would be charged the appropriate amount. I was lucky, I had all my vaccinations but they still ended up sticking me with 3 so that I didn’t leave with my money in my purse. I asked why I had to take them again considering I had them all already and I was given one excuse after another. They’re expired, here we require you to have this one more that once, etc. and after the hoopla with the vaccinations they sent me to the psychologist which of course was not something that was in the paperwork that was given to me…that was an added bonus for the low price of $45 US dollars. In the end, what should have been a $185 dollar tab ended up costing me almost $400. More than the money, I left part of my dignity at that clinic. The way the women who were suppose to be nurses and doctors treated us “patients” was deplorable. I saw how people were belittled and yelled at for no real reason. How people let their power rule over being human and empathetic to their fellow wo/man. We were treated like cattle, in and out of room after room without being instructed to do so; the only thing they were missing was a cattle prod or a stick to get us all to move from one place to another. I saw mothers being yelled at for having children and people being denied medical treatment and immigration appointments for not talking “the right way” to the medical staff or worst, for simply having tattoos and piercings. I was scared having to go to the shrink because I thought for sure they would ask me questions in hope of finding something wrong with me and denying me legal residency. I entered the room of a lovely tall, slender and young woman who asked me a series of three questions “what is your order of birth, have you committed any crimes, and how old were you when you crossed over to the United States”. First, no and 7, and for that I was asked to have a nice day and not to forget to pay my bill down stairs otherwise my results would not be ready for the consulate the following day. I left there with two sore arms and a lump on my butt the size of a golf ball. (I couldn’t sit or lift anything for nearly two weeks.)
After the lovely medical exploration I was off for pictures and finger prints. Another fee of $440, we waited outside another office in metal fencing (like animals once again) and waited for the little pieces for paper in the window to change indicating the appointment times they were receiving next. I spent 5 minutes being seen by actual doctors and nurses in the medical exam and over 3 hours in waiting rooms. Now here we were outside in the hot sun waiting to be finger printed, more angry people and more instructions. Don’t do this, don’t do that, have this out, don’t bring this in, and don’t bring that in. Eight hours later and less self respect than when I started the process I was excused to rest with E and my dad. During the entire time E and dad waited for me outside every building. Juarez is so nasty and vile that it’s too dangerous for any single woman to be there alone. We had to watch every person that walked by, every cab we got into and all while watching the Mexican Military ride around in trucks with machine guns pointed at people. I tell you, nothing says you’re safe like the military pointing machine guns at its own people. Cab drivers commented how sometimes you have to be more afraid of the cops there than the cartel or the gang members. We get back to our hotel room, finally check in only to find out that I made a mistake while reserving our rooms and we no longer had our reservation. Luckily for us the hotel managers remembers my father because he’s been there so often lately, first with my sister, then my mother and now me. He offers to find us another room but for a higher price. At that point we can’t argue, we need that room, La Quinta in Juarez seems to be the only safe hotel in Juarez. It has a ten foot steel fence with a guard who only lets in registered guest. There is barbwire surrounding the building and even then you don’t feel safe, but it’s safer than the alternative.
BP: Where are you going?
Me: To the U.S. Consulate in Juarez Mexico to fix my papers
BP: Show me your paper work
Me: (I hand them the letter informing me that I have a July 14th appointment)
BP: How long have you been in the U.S.?
Me: A little over 23 years
BP: How old were you when you came to the U.S.?
Me: About 7 years old
BP: Where did you cross through?
Me: I don’t remember I was 7
BP: Is this your dad (looking at Dad’s identification and noticing that his last name matches my passport)
Me: Yes, and the guy next to him is my husband
BP: If that’s your dad how come you aren’t legal through him?
Me: Because he became a permanent resident in 2004 and by then I had aged out
BP: Why didn’t you apply sooner?
Me: I think if we could have we would have, it’s not like we waited by choice (BIG mistake, HUGE because now I just made the BP (female) officer irate)
BP: Calls over a male BP officer and he’s holding in his hands some computer that he is looking at and begins to whisper to the female officer. She starts to look inside the car and with an angry tone asks me “So what did you do in ’97?”
Me: What to do mean?
BP: You know what I mean, you committed a crime in ’97 what was it?
Me: I am sorry officer I have no idea what you’re talking about, on the contrary in ’97 I was 16/17 years old and I was a model high school student in Youth Court and Mock Trail.
BP: Doesn’t look like it from here, because our computer says you were arrested.
Me: Can you tell me what it says I did? I think I would have remembered if I was arrested
BP: Male officer looks down at computer and tell female officers “they’re clean” and they say we can go
Can I just add that at that moment time stopped and I thought for sure they would try to pin something on me and make an excuse to start a deportation process so they would never let me come back. I knew I was not a criminal and that I had nothing in “’97” but I figured they could do whatever they wanted with me at that point. I was illegal and in their eyes, I had no rights. Both my dad and Efrain were visibly shaken and I knew what was on their mind so I said what they were not afraid to ask. “I didn’t do anything and I have no idea what they’re talking about”. I think it was my dad who said to me in Spanish so Efrain wouldn’t understand “if you have something to tell me before we cross the border, now would be a good time”. “No dad, I think they just said that to scare us in case we did have something, because if I or any of us had anything there’s no way they would have let us go.”
After I wet myself from the fear it was then time to get lost in the ugliest city in the world. I think dad was still a little shaken because he took a wrong turn somewhere and off we go into the abyss. We were lost for nearly an hour and every street we turned into was uglier than the next. Juarez is one of those places where the ugliness is all around you. The divide between the haves and the have-nots is obvious and the place reeks of fear and desperation. The entire place is founded on the misery of others, be it their own citizens or those passing through on their way to what they hope will be a better life. After hours of being lost we were worried that I would not make it to the medical appointment.
Part of the process of immigrating legally involves a medical exam to insure that you are “super human”. My appointment letter said there were only two options of where I could have my medical exam done and part of that exam included having a list of over 13 vaccinations, and everything had a price tag. Cost of medical exam including x-rays and blood work $185 US dollars, 13 vaccinations ranging from $40 to $192 depending on which vaccinations you needed you would be charged the appropriate amount. I was lucky, I had all my vaccinations but they still ended up sticking me with 3 so that I didn’t leave with my money in my purse. I asked why I had to take them again considering I had them all already and I was given one excuse after another. They’re expired, here we require you to have this one more that once, etc. and after the hoopla with the vaccinations they sent me to the psychologist which of course was not something that was in the paperwork that was given to me…that was an added bonus for the low price of $45 US dollars. In the end, what should have been a $185 dollar tab ended up costing me almost $400. More than the money, I left part of my dignity at that clinic. The way the women who were suppose to be nurses and doctors treated us “patients” was deplorable. I saw how people were belittled and yelled at for no real reason. How people let their power rule over being human and empathetic to their fellow wo/man. We were treated like cattle, in and out of room after room without being instructed to do so; the only thing they were missing was a cattle prod or a stick to get us all to move from one place to another. I saw mothers being yelled at for having children and people being denied medical treatment and immigration appointments for not talking “the right way” to the medical staff or worst, for simply having tattoos and piercings. I was scared having to go to the shrink because I thought for sure they would ask me questions in hope of finding something wrong with me and denying me legal residency. I entered the room of a lovely tall, slender and young woman who asked me a series of three questions “what is your order of birth, have you committed any crimes, and how old were you when you crossed over to the United States”. First, no and 7, and for that I was asked to have a nice day and not to forget to pay my bill down stairs otherwise my results would not be ready for the consulate the following day. I left there with two sore arms and a lump on my butt the size of a golf ball. (I couldn’t sit or lift anything for nearly two weeks.)
After the lovely medical exploration I was off for pictures and finger prints. Another fee of $440, we waited outside another office in metal fencing (like animals once again) and waited for the little pieces for paper in the window to change indicating the appointment times they were receiving next. I spent 5 minutes being seen by actual doctors and nurses in the medical exam and over 3 hours in waiting rooms. Now here we were outside in the hot sun waiting to be finger printed, more angry people and more instructions. Don’t do this, don’t do that, have this out, don’t bring this in, and don’t bring that in. Eight hours later and less self respect than when I started the process I was excused to rest with E and my dad. During the entire time E and dad waited for me outside every building. Juarez is so nasty and vile that it’s too dangerous for any single woman to be there alone. We had to watch every person that walked by, every cab we got into and all while watching the Mexican Military ride around in trucks with machine guns pointed at people. I tell you, nothing says you’re safe like the military pointing machine guns at its own people. Cab drivers commented how sometimes you have to be more afraid of the cops there than the cartel or the gang members. We get back to our hotel room, finally check in only to find out that I made a mistake while reserving our rooms and we no longer had our reservation. Luckily for us the hotel managers remembers my father because he’s been there so often lately, first with my sister, then my mother and now me. He offers to find us another room but for a higher price. At that point we can’t argue, we need that room, La Quinta in Juarez seems to be the only safe hotel in Juarez. It has a ten foot steel fence with a guard who only lets in registered guest. There is barbwire surrounding the building and even then you don’t feel safe, but it’s safer than the alternative.
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