Picking your food

Saturday, September 24, 2011

After I got married and lost my job there was a dark period in my life where all I wanted to do was sty home and feel sorry about myself and as a part of my pity party for one I stayed home and played Farmville all day.  A game played on facebook where a person gets to create their own farms and raise animals.  It’s just a video game but I got so hooked I would base my entire day on when I needed to be back to the computer to farm.  Today, Farmville has a whole new meaning for me.  Aunt Luz and her family have asked grandma and me to join them at their ranch to help with pick corn.  I wanted to laugh at the thought of me in my dress and heels picking corn in my COACH purse.  So we loaded up the truck and moved on over to the ranch.  When we get there I take one look at the field filled with corn and I can’t imagine finishing in one day.  Aunt Luz and her husband explain to me and their daughter-in-law how to tell if a corn is ready to be picked.  They give us a sack and tell us not to be back to the truck until we have filled up the sack.  Everyone picks a row and we start picking corn.  The husk on the corn is prickly and my hands are soon raw from picking the corn and after what seamed like all day, my sack is filled and I am ready to head back to the camp site.  I arrive to find everyone sucking corn, I was the last one to come in and I must empty my sack and start to clean the corn.  Aunt Luz also explains that we will get to eat some of the corn we just picked and that I should pick the best ones to enjoy.  After picking and shucking all the corn I am not sure I can look at it let alone eat it but when in Mexico I must do like the Mexicans do.  Uncle starts a small fire with some brush, the clay pot is filled with water and corn and before we knew it we were enjoying some of the tenderest corn I have ever eaten.  We ate it with salt, lemon and chilly, we enjoyed it with mayonnaise and cheese and we savored it plane.  Aunt Luz had also gotten up early in the morning to make “gorditas” for the day and we ate like kings and queens.  No utensils needed, we ate with our hands and liked our fingers to ensure not a drop of goodness was lost.  At the end of the night I hoped on the back of my aunts ATV and drove home with her at the handle bars.  I felt the cool breeze of the night and watched as we descended back into town.  We arrived at my grandmas where I fell into a deep sleep from exhaustion.  Tomorrow will be another day and I must rest to take it on. 

Bloodlines

Friday, September 23, 2011

Although grandma had a rough night she sleeps in and wakes up feeling refreshed.  We head out to buy groceries for the next few days and while we are out in the town square we ran into my aunt Luz and grandma’s sister Maxi.  Together after doing the shopping we all sit at the town square, relax and catch up.  People from neighboring ranches pass by us and they stop to say hi and chat with all three of them.  It’s odd to see everyone knows one another and everyone is connected somehow.  Grandma and her sister have stories to share about everyone passing by and discuss what “houses” they come from meaning family lines.  One of the many beautiful things about being Mexican is the way a persons name honors both father and mother.  People here use both their father and mother’s last name as a way of identifying family lines.  One is never far away from where they come from and here I am back to where I came from.  I guess the universe wanted to remind me that I have a past I cant shake and that no matter how long I live in the U.S. and how Americanized I become I cant forget my heritage.  I may be whoever I want to be but the universe reminds me that my blood and my blood lines have already determined who I am. 

A long time...could today be the day?

Every day is a challange and I just when I get used to the idea of being here displaced in a country far from my family I hear my niece's voice on the phone and I just want to go home.  Since my last post a lot has happened and at the same time nothing new.  It's been over six months and I am still 'stuck' in Mexico.  My husband and I have tried on a weekly basis to contact every and any government office we are suggested.  I never would have imagined how dibilitating this process can make someone.  I won't lie I tought because I had a Masters degree I could navigate my way through this immigration system, and I never imagined that every person I encounter in thouse government offices could make me feel stupid and worthless.  Of course I know I am not but their responses make me feel less than human.  I ask about the status of my application and it's always 'pending review'.  I ask if I am missing any documents and their response 'if we need anything from you we'll let you know'.  I ask why it's taking so long and their response 'you're lucky it's only been 6 months, this process takes years' as if somehow that is supposed to make me feel better.  Those are the responses I get when someone is in a good mood because when they're not I get the 'ma'am it's only been 6 months call us back when it's been over a year'.  Emails are supposed to be the fastes way to get a response and my husband just got a response from an email he sent in September, the reply:  'email us back when it's been over 10 months'.  No two government offices have ever given us the same response it's as if they make things up as they go along.  More than anything I am dissapointed that a believed in a system that I thought helped people when in fact it is made to deter people from doing the right thing.  I still have some faith left that I will go home someday but everyday I wake up wondering if today could be the day.  

Understanding

I know you have not seen any posts from me in a while and I promise to post again soon. It's has been over 6 months since I left my home and things aren not getting any easier. We have no information about my case and the lack of information has been frustrating and most of all sad. I live day to day and hope that each new day brings less sadness than the previous one. I know I will be home someday but wonder when that day will be. I pray for courage to keep fighting and for patience and understanding of why this process aims to kill the human spirit. In strenght and solidarity!